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Get resilient about change

I had my resilience tested recently, two weeks in a row. I found my entire week being thrown into disarray when training courses that I was due to run were cancelled at the last minute (on one occasion I didn’t know this until I turned up at the venue!) and I found myself being “stranded” away from home whilst I waited for them to be rescheduled.


Anyone who knows me will tell you that planning and organisation are two skills I poses and am particularly good at utilising. As with any skill, quality or strength it can be overdone and actually become more of a hindrance than a help. For me, my super planning and organisational skills mean that when things (that I have carefully planned by me) suddenly change I can feel paralysed, stuck, all at sea! The resulting emotions are frustration, annoyance and sometimes even anger. Not massively helpful when building a working relationship (or any relationship for that matter).change4


You may react differently towards last minute changes, in fact some people thrive on these. However, when it comes to change on a larger scale let’s say a strategic decision to end one project and start another, an organisational restructure, relocation, ending (or starting) of a relationship…..many of us go through a period of shock, denial, fear, anxiety and possibly anger before we get to a place where we feel open to exploring the change and to understanding what it really means for us.


Here is the key point…..whatever the change and however you react to it, your experience of that change is down to how you think about it. If you think it is inconvenient, wrong, frightening or whatever, then your experience will reflect that.


If, on the other hand you think the change is just something that happens in life, something that won’t last forever, possibly even an opportunity for something new and exciting to occur then your experience will reflect that.


So, next time you are faced with a change to your plan pause and consider four things:

  1. How you are feeling about it (and tell yourself that whatever the feeling is it is ok, you don’t have to jump for joy about it!)
  2. What is the worst that can happen here (and then tell yourself that unless it is life and death you WILL be able to cope with the worst should it actually happen)
  3. How this change could be good for you (consider changes in the past that ended up working out well and remind yourself that this change could also bring you something good)
  4. The fact that no change last forever, change comes and goes and so although there may be a period of discomfort it WILL pass.


The more you do this the more resilient you will become and change will feel less scary and inconvenient. As it happened, I ended up having an interesting, productive and even fun couple of days whilst I waited for my training course to be rescheduled and in the end I was even grateful for the last minute change!

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