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Self-confidence holding you back?

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”

Lao Tzu.


I love this quote.  It has taken me a while to fully understand and accept it but as I do, I can see how it can be so powerful for many of us who at times lack confidence in ourselves.


Let me ask you a question…..how confident are you?

It is likely that there are some aspects of your life in which you feel very confident and other where you feel less confident.  In that respect, confidence is likely to come down to knowledge, skills and experience.  The things we have experienced and done before are likely to be the things we feel more confident about (if that experience worked out for us that is!).


It is also likely that there are times in your life when you feel more confident than at others.  In that case, confidence is likely to be influenced by factors relating to how you are mentally and physically.  When you have a lot on your plate and you feel your are juggling too many plates it is possible that you’ll feel less confident than the times when you feel in control.  When you are experiencing pain, discomfort or exhaustion, it is possible that your sense of self-confidence may be lower.


How would it be if you could maintain a steady inner sense of self-confidence?

So that no matter what situation you were in or how you were physically that day, you would have the inner resilience and belief that you could deal with what lay ahead?  The thing is that we are all capable of achieving this.  We all have that ability within us, we just need to tap into it and give it space to grow.


Often our lack of confidence (regardless of situation, experience, physical state) comes down to the fact that we have a perception of how we should be in a certain situation and we are trying to measure up to that (and feel that we fall short).


The key word there is “should”.  But what if there was no should.  What if in any situation you are being the best that you can be with the body and mind you have in that moment?  What if it wasn’t about doing things as others would do them but in doing them in your own unique way?  How might that change your feeling of confidence?

self confidence 1


  • you don’t have as much experience as someone else, but you know that you will deliver the best result you can based on what you do know.
  • you aren’t feeling as great today as you’d like because you didn’t sleep well, but you know that you are giving 100% of what you have to give today.
  • you are terrified about doing that presentation, but you know that most other people in that room would feel terrified in your position and so they are likely to have empathy for you.


Training your mind to focus on what you can do, what you do bring and how you are contributing is far more empowering than comparing yourself to others.  Training your mind to recognise and appreciate yourself will build your self-belief and from self-belief comes self-confidence.


Over the next week press pause every so often to become aware of what you are saying to yourself.  Notice whether you are focusing on the “should” in a situation and consider how you can turn your attention to what you “can” bring to it instead.


If self-confidence is an issue you’d like to discuss a bit more then drop me a line and as always, spread the word!  If you think this blog would help someone then get sharing.

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