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(The answer.....) it's not out there
Susan Grandfield • Jan 13, 2021
What should I do?
How will I manage this?
How is this going to work?
Is this even possible?
What is the answer?
We experience life through the questions we ask ourselves.
Whether we are embarking on a new relationship, changing careers, starting a business, buying a house, making financial investments or balancing working from home with home schooling children, we face many questions.
That, in itself isn’t a problem. The questions aren’t the issue, in fact they are a helpful part of the process of making decisions and taking action however…..it can become a problem when we look for the answers somewhere “out there”.
In times of uncertainty we (quite naturally and understandably) seek out answers which will give us a feeling of confidence and reassurance about what is the right or best thing to do. So, we turn towards the people who we perceive to have the experience, data or wisdom that we think we lack.
And that is where it goes wrong!
We give our power over to someone else. We seek answers “out there”.
In doing so, we disempower ourselves by thinking that someone else knows more about what is best for us than we do. We diminish our capacity for creativity by following someone else’s approach. We create a dependency on others which means when things go wrong we have someone else we can blame.
I am not saying we do this consciously. That is precisely the point, we do it unconsciously.
There are many (an increasing number of) people in the world who claim to be experts or who are in positions that society has deemed expert and as a result we have essentially become programmed to seek out the “experts” when we are faced with life’s decisions and new situations. There is nothing wrong with that either.
Seeking out experts is the conscious part, but the unconscious part is that we are often in so much of a rush to get the answer and take action to solve our problem that we don’t allow our own wisdom to take a seat at the table
as well. We turn all of our attention and energy towards enacting what the experts say.
Whatever you are facing right now there are likely to be many experts you could turn to for advice or guidance. There may even be people who are telling you how to deal with your situation without you even asking them (be they public figures or closer to home in the form or friends and family).
A word of caution when anyone is telling you what you should do is that you remind yourself that you are the ONLY AND BEST expert in your life
and what is right for you. No-one else can know what will be right for you so it is about you slowing down, turning your attention inward and listening to your inner guidance.
When you are asking yourself “how do I do this?” listen inside for the answer. It will always be the best answer for you.
Want to explore this a bit further? Take a look at one of my earlier blogs "How can I trust myself?"
What do you need help with?
We begin this adventure of a lifetime as wide open, expansive, creative, loving, curious and innately wise little beings full of possibility, potential and optimism. But through our experience of interacting with others and the world around us we, unconsciously, wrap ourselves up in patterns of behaving and thinking which serve to protect us from the perceived risk of following that childlike energy. Now is the time to "unwrap" those protective layers and reconnect with who we really are.
Experimenting is fundamentally about trying things out and not being attached to a particular outcome. It is about giving things a go and learning from whatever happens. There is a real freedom in approaching things with an experimental mindset and I believe it can be brought to all aspects of our lives.
Like me, are you also someone who tends to plan moments of bliss rather than allow them to happen?
Ridiculous as that may sound, I realise that when I am in my familiar environment doing familiar and routine activities I tend to plan for moments of bliss or joy to happen sometime in the future, when all of the things I need to do have been done. I am discovering the possibility of experiencing moments of bliss at any time and without the preplanning.
None of us know how life will pan out yet we continually try and control and manipulate it to be the way we think we want it to be. It is exhausting and often disappointing. But if we surrender and allow ourselves to take each step that appears to us we can have a whole different experience of life.
Doing nothing allows you to go inside and connect with a different part of yourself than you are usually in contact with. Call it your soul, your inner being, your heart or maybe don’t even give it a name. It is the inner presence which is always available to you and is often whispering its guidance to you but is usually drowned out by the constant chattering of the mind.
At some point in life we all ask ourselves, what is this all about? And we realise that being on the treadmill of doing and putting others before ourselves cannot be all there is. This is an invitation to reconnect with what is truly important to you.
No matter what stage of life we are in, we are always experiencing some sort of transition. Sometimes the transitions happen almost undetected, while other transitions can feel like a tsunami. It's possible to learn how to approach all life's transitions with ease and grace. Join me for a mindfulness based retreat to discover for yourself.
What if feeling good is not just a nice experience to have every so often. What if it is really the purpose of life? This blog is all about the principle is that life is not to be endured, it is to be enjoyed. We are here to discover what feels good and to live create our lives from that energy. That is it. Read on to find out how.
Work is synonymous with money, effort and outputs. It is something we do and our effort in doing it can be measured through outputs. It can be physical, intellectual or technical and is often experienced as hard or time consuming. But what if there is a different perspective on work? One in which the emphasis is on NOT DOING?
Making decisions can feel hard, overwhelming and stressful. But it doesn't have to be like that. Decision making can become a simple choice made with ease and confidence. It's just about looking at it in a different way.
Meet Susan
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susan@susangrandfield.com
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